Mood:  spacey

Evidence of Aliens Breeding in 1948!

Roswell, New Mexico -- Land of the Alien Crash...

I thought you would enjoy this little blurb of nonfiction: Many will recall that on July 8, 1947, witnesses claimed that an unidentified object with five aliens aboard crashed onto a sheep and cattle ranch outside Roswell, New Mexico.

This is a well-known incident. Many say the total truth of it was, and has long been, covered up by the U.S. Air Force and the Federal Government.

However, you may NOT know that in the month of March 1948 -- exactly nine months later:

Albert Arnold Gore, Jr.;

Hillary Rodham Clinton;

John F. Kerry;

William Jefferson Clinton;

Howard Dean;

Nancy Pelosi;

Dianne Feinstein;

Charles E. Schumer; and

Barbara Boxer

...were born.

See what happens when aliens breed with sheep?! This piece of information may clear up a lot of things.

Posted by yaahoo_ at 6:00 PM EDT

Share This Post

Permalink

Mood:  silly

 Man Robs Bank Disguised As Tree

BOSTON -- Police are looking for a man who robbed the Citizen's Bank on Elm Street in Manchester, New Hampshire on Saturday disguised as a tree!

The man walked into the bank with tree branches duct taped on his arms and demanded money from the teller. The teller filled the bag with cash and the suspect took off. A dye pack inside the bag exploded.

Manchester Police describe the man as a white male, between 45 and 50 years old, wearing glasses and a blue shirt.

My Fox Boston.com ~ Fox25 News ** Man Robs Bank Disguised As Tree
Well... Albore has to finance all those concerts somehow!

Update: Man Accused of Robbing Bank Disguised As Tree Arrested in N.H.

BOSTON -- Police have arrested a man who they say robbed a New Hampshire bank on Saturday morning dressed as a tree. The man demanded money from the teller and took off. He was arrested at his home late Saturday night.

Video: FOX25's Alison Bologna has the latest from Manchester... My Fox Boston.com ~
Fox25 News ** Man Accused of Robbing Bank Disguised As Tree Arrested in N.H.

Posted by yaahoo_ at 8:00 AM EDT

Updated: Sunday, 8 July 2007 5:43 PM EDT

Share This Post

Permalink

Mood:  mischievious

Wanted: Condom Tester

An Australian manufacturer has called for applications for what it claims could be the world's best job - condom tester.

Durex marketing manager Sam White said any Australian over the age of 18 could apply for one of 200 positions as a condom tester.

The position is not paid, but successful applicants will receive a free $60 selection of Durex products and will be required to provide the company with honest feedback about the products' performance.

One of the lucky 200 testers will win a $1000 bonus.

Applicants must explain why they would make an expert condom tester, Mr White said.

"With this job on your CV, it really will be a chance to brag to your mates about the special skills you possess, not to mention that your new role will work wonders with the opposite sex," he said.

"Who wouldn't want to have a chance with an actual authorised professional?"

One thing's for sure - it's a job where employees won't mind taking their work home and burning the midnight oil.

To apply, visit the company's website at http://www.durex.com.au.

Sydney Morning Herald ~ Australian Associated Press ** Wanted: condom tester

LOL, My three kids, "Split", "Ripped", and "Torn" all think your product works admirably.

Posted by yaahoo_ at 6:32 AM EDT

Updated: Saturday, 7 July 2007 6:42 AM EDT

Share This Post

Permalink

Mood:  silly

Steer's Owner Ticketed For Excessive Mooing 

By Matt Bush ---- Play Video

HUGO CITY, MN -- You can accuse Wally the steer of a lot of things. His kisses are a little sloppy and his nudges might be a little too much.

But these days Wally's crazy ways are going beyond the pasture because Wally is apparently a nuisance. Why? Because Wally, shockingly, is mooing, and, apparently, he's mooing loudly.

"I'm being charged with a criminal complaint," Wally's owner Karyl Hylle said.

That's right. The Washington County Sheriff's Department cited Hylle, who owns the 33 acre farm where Wally resides, with a misdemeanor. The ticket specifically cites her for ongoing nuisance cow mooing.

"I honestly am speechless," Hylle said.

It seems Hylle's next door neighbor has called authorities more than 20 times claiming Wally is a moo-maniac. But in the more than an hour we were on the farm, we couldn't get Wally to make a peep.

"I mean he does moo, he's a cow, but it's rare and it's few and far between," Hylle said.

Karyl says Wally lets out a moo about twice a day. Hardly enough, she thinks, to warrant 21 complaints that have been filed with Washington County by the neighbor.

It's important to note too that Karyl's land is a zoned farm. She could have 50 head of cattle if she wanted to.

The beef on the complaints is the mooing, but when officers showed up to the farm, the complaint says the cow didn't moo for them either.

So, after one court appearance, Karyl faces a $1,000 fine and or 90 days in jail for Wally daring to do what all steer have done before. Moo.

The Hugo city attorney says in his 15 years of prosecuting for the city he has never seen a case like this. He says the next step is to find out if this really is an enforceable citation. He says his hunch is that it isn't.

WCSH6.com ~ NBC Portland - Matt Bush ** Steer's Owner Ticketed For Excessive Mooing

Posted by yaahoo_ at 6:43 PM EDT

Share This Post

Permalink

Mood:  cheeky

Dec., 1941 Roosevelt's speech...

The libtard, PC, candy-ass, pansy version 

Given on Monday, December 8, 1941

Yesterday, December 7, 1941 -- a date which will live in misunderstanding -- the United States of America was apparently suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of a people we can’t name without being racially and culturally insensitive.

The United States was at peace with that nation and, at the solicitation of a country populated by people different from us – although such diversity can be and is often a strength worth celebrating -- was still in conversation with its Government and its Emperor looking toward the maintenance of peace in the Pacific. Indeed, one hour after this nation’s air squadrons had commenced bombing Oahu, this nation’s Ambassador to the United States and his colleague delivered to the Secretary of State a formal reply to a recent American message. While this reply stated that it seemed useless to continue the existing diplomatic negotiations, it contained no threat or hint of war or armed attack.

It will be recorded that the distance of Hawaii from this nation suggests to some that the attack was deliberately planned many days or even weeks ago, although we in no way wish to slander this other nation by suggesting that this other country harbors any ill will towards the United States or military designs upon the rest of the world. During the intervening time, the Government of our misunderstood sister nation seems to have deliberately sought to deceive the United States by false statements and expressions of hope for continued peace. The regrettable attack yesterday on the Hawaiian Islands has caused severe damage to American naval and military forces, although it is too early to conclude that this action implies any ill will toward us from the peoples of the attacking nation or their allies.

Yesterday this other nation also launched an attack against Malaya. Last night they attacked Hong Kong (but we are in no way suggesting that this other nation is in any way less peace-loving and respectable than any other). Last night they also attacked Guam, the Philippine Islands, and Wake Island. This morning this other country attacked Midway Island. Surely this is an indicator of the degree to which we have not properly respected the other country’s beliefs, religion, and customs. What have we done to make them angry with us and how can we change? It would be unfortunate and a mistake for the people of the United States to have already formed their opinions of the implications of these events.

I believe I interpret the will of the Congress and of the people when I assert that we will not only seek to end this conflict through the use of our Courts but will make very certain that this form of misunderstanding shall never again occur through our actions or inactions, and we will strive to understand how our own failings and religious provincialism could result in such an event. It would be wrong of me to invoke the help of any particular diety in our cause as this would by implication suggest that one set of religious beliefs is superior to another.

With confidence in our legal system and with the unbounding determination of our people we will gain the inevitable court win. We must also ensure that never again will we so provoke another nation into such an understandable if regrettably violent act. We can and will do better in making sure our future actions will not again create such misunderstandings. We will do better in being a good neighbor to the other nations of the world.

I therefore reluctantly ask that the Justice Department declare that since the reaction provoked of this other nation on Sunday, December 7, the United States must reluctantly bring suit against this other nation. As the trial proceeds, may we speedily make amends and see that such an unfortunate event is never repeated.

Posted by yaahoo_ at 1:09 AM EDT

Updated: Wednesday, 4 July 2007 1:30 AM EDT

Share This Post

Permalink

Mood:  silly

Libtards' take on the 'fairness doctrine'...

Posted by yaahoo_ at 12:53 AM EDT

Share This Post

Permalink

Mood:  crushed out

Jessica Alba wants no-strings sex

Stunning actress Jessica Alba says she is up for a one-night stand - as long as the man leaves the next morning.

The curvy 23-year-old, who was recently romantically linked to Hollywood hunk Mark Wahlberg, likes the idea of getting intimate with lots of different people because she loves experimenting in sex.

She told Cosmopolitan magazine: "I just wanted to see what it was like to be with different people. I don't think a girl's a slut if she enjoys sex.

"I could have a one-night stand, and I'm the kind of girl who looks over in the morning and is like, 'Do you really have to be here?' I don't need to cuddle and do all that stuff because I know what it is and I don't try to make it more.

"I feel like a lot of women try to make it into more, so they don't feel so bad about just wanting to have sex. I don't really have a problem with just wanting sex. Never have.

"Even when I was a virgin and wanted to marry the first guy who I slept with, I never passed any judgments about that. But now I'm done with dating around."

The Sun ~ UK ** Alba wants no-strings sex

*Sigh* Alright then, I guess I'll take one for the team... 

Posted by yaahoo_ at 2:47 AM EDT

Updated: Friday, 15 June 2007 2:51 AM EDT

Share This Post

Permalink

Mood:  energetic

Definitely not a 'soft' drink...

Fox News.com ~ Associated Press ** Man Sues Health Drink Maker Over Erection

Posted by yaahoo_ at 2:36 PM EDT

Updated: Wednesday, 6 June 2007 3:16 PM EDT

Share This Post

Permalink

Mood:  d'oh

Musician canned for focus on wrong organ 

NEW FRANKEN, Wis. -- A Catholic priest has removed his church's organist and choir director from her duties saying her sale of sex toys was not "consistent with Church teachings."

Linette Servais, 50, played the organ and sung with the choir for 35 years. Much of her work as choir director and organist was done without pay. When her parish priest asked to meet with her, she thought it was to say thank you.

Instead, she was told to quit her sales job with company known as Pure Romance or she would lose her position in the church.

Pure Romance in Loveland, Ohio, is a $60 million per year business that sells spa products and sex toys at homes parties attended by women. It has 15,000 consultants like Servais.

She said her decision was not hard: She began working with Pure Romance after a brain tumor and treatment left her sexually dysfunctional. The job allows her to help other women who have similar problems.

"After I got over the initial shock, I prayed over this a long time," she said. "I feel that Pure Romance is my ministry."

The Rev. Dean Dombroski felt differently, removing her from the choir loft just before Thanksgiving and gradually taking away other church duties. Servais can no longer take pictures during First Communion services or lead the committee planning St. Joseph's annual late-summer picnic.

Dombroski said he couldn't discuss the situation because it involves personnel. But in a letter to his rural congregation, he wrote: "Linette is a consultant for a firm which sells products of a sexual nature that are not consistent with Church teachings. Because parish leaders are expected to model the teaching of our faith ... she could stay on as the choir director/organist or she could continue to be a consultant but she could not do both."

Servais responded with her own three-page letter to church members, saying she felt compelled to help other women, especially those suffering from problems caused by cancer.

Many choir members quit in support, she said, and some have gathered at her home on occasional Thursdays to sing hymns.

"Father Dean made it sound so sinful," she said. "There is so much more to this business than toys."

Information from: Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
Boston Globe ~ Associated Press ** Musician canned for focus on wrong organ

Posted by yaahoo_ at 3:02 AM EDT

Updated: Friday, 1 June 2007 3:30 AM EDT

Share This Post

Permalink